This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
