No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
