That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
