how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
