So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
