She's JV to your varsity
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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