did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
