She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
