Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
