Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
