D3 body, D1 cock
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
