He disabled his match.com account in front of me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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