4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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