i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
