You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
