we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm just crazy horny about you
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
