You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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