nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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