I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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