This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
