I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
