I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think i have two assholes
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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