She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
