last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
