the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
