ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
