Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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