lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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