are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
