just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
