I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
