In the future we'll all be gay
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
