This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
