PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize