Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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