We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
