I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
