State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize