dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
