So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
