Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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