At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
