What a fucking waste of an outfit
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
