just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
