My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
