i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
