I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
