In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
