In the future we'll all be gay
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize