bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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