I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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