you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
