so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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