you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i out mim tonsoeep
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