STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Someone shit on the floor
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
