can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
