I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
