3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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