i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
