If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This is my gift to your gina
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize