Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
