Small penises have feelings too.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
