i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
