If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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