She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
