Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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