How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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