Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
