i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
