He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
