So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
