Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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