I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
