I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
