Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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